Forward

“The crickets felt it was their duty to warn everybody that summertime cannot last forever. Even on the most beautiful days in the whole year – the days when summer is changing into fall – the crickets spread the rumor of sadness and change.” Charlotte’s Web

After gorging on summer for so many months, Ohio has changed colors - from yellow and green and blue to orange and brown and gray.  And I'm not able to manage the same enthusiasm for this fall-to-winter season.
I find myself looking at the autumn of discarded toys on the floor, and wishing we could go to the playground or the pool.  I find myself looking back at sunny days, the ones just a month or two ago when Tucker's skin glowed honey-dipped and Tolliver napped under cream puff clouds.  And looking back at the ones way before that, when their sister's future seemed to spread wide and far.
The days are colder, more hours are dark.  And it's hard to see the way forward in the dark.  My body holds feelings freighted with memories, and my brain objects to the idea of holidays without her.  Just like the toy cars on our hardwood though, I imagine I must pull back a few emotional inches before I can propel forward again.

JEB